I Woke Up This Morning–DEAD


I didn’t intend to wake up this way, you know — DEAD. But here I am.

The first thing I saw was Truth. Truth all around me bombarding all of my senses: eyes, ears, touch, smell and taste, and yes even my thoughts. There is no escape from the realization that I am now for the first time confronted with absolute, undeniable  and irrefutable Truth.

Oh please!!  let death be a lake of fire, a fire that blots out all Truth.

Oh please!! let death be obliteration, obliteration that blots out all Truth.

Anything but this; to be exposed so totally and helplessly to Truth.

As time now unfolds I see and feel the very personal truth that I am separated from the Truth that is all around me. I realize with horror that this separation is ever growing at the same time I realize that the extent of  this Truth is ever unfolding and my separation from it ever growing. I can never be a part of it. I agonize with the realization that this ever unfolding Truth is consistent with an infinite and yet personal God I had rejected before I died.  

I reach out to touch it, but with each new reach find it to be ever beyond reach. I call out to someone, anyone,  only to realize there is no one else here. I am alone! And will be alone forever and ever forever.

I can see the beginning, I can see the Truth that “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” but it was too late for me. I can see the Truth that there were no billions and billions of years of thrashing around waiting for my puny body to evolve. I could see “the heavens declaring the glory of God.” I can hear the Lord gently knocking on the door of my heart, and that same heart agonizing that now I would never open that door to let Him in.

By now I’ve heard “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” beyond my capability to count, all the while seeing the beauty of this savior and Lord. But alas, this is for those multitudes I look upon now with infinite regret and envy.

Oh please!! let death be a lake of fire, a fire that blots out all Truth.

Oh please!! let death be obliteration, obliteration that blots out all Truth.

Anything but this; to be exposed so totally and helplessly to Truth.

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One response to “I Woke Up This Morning–DEAD

  1. Pingback: Death of An Atheist: by Cal Thomas | A Yearning for Publius

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